Sunday, January 30, 2005
my way or the highway.. no more
When I was younger (that's not to say I'm an old fart now), I clung tightly to the romantic notion of 'my way or the highway'. How is that romantic, you question. Well it was to me. The connotation of freedom. Of individualism. Of autonomy. And most importantly, that it didn't matter what other people thought/ felt/ said.
But it does.
Especially when it's your loved ones. I learnt that today.
To put myself in someone else's shoes. To think from their perspective. To understand. I always knew I was able to do that. What I didn't realise was how often I actually did.
This comes as quite a rude shock to me because I'm one to often say that I despise the womanly ways. By this I refer only to the pettiness, jealousy and selfishness of many women. Unreasonable, in a nutshell.
I've prided myself on being conscious of these innate flaws in the feminine psyche. I actively sought to behave in a manner over and beyond what I saw was pure childishness.
Imagine my horror at my own behaviour today.
Caught up in the moment, feeling indignant, I was all about me. That I felt disappointed. That I was slighted. And how I tried so hard only to be treated this way. Of course I justified the silent treatment and occasional sulks as acceptable because I was put through such trauma by the careless words of the masculine type.
Only a few hours and a large Latte later am I objective enough to rethink the incident clearly. I am ashamed to admit that I was rightfully reprimanded for not being as honest and straight as I should. That I didn't (wouldn't?) just tell him what was wrong.
For a split second there, I had the most horrid womanly thought - that he should know what's wrong without me having to spell things out!
Woman, O woman. How foolish you be. We all know for quite a fact that men are simple-minded creatures when it comes down to it. Their analytical minds and problem-solving skills are all brought into play when they are unfortunately caught in a she-is-upset situation.
Well what I'm simply trying to say (before I get all caught up in the Mars-Venus discussion), is that we are fundamentally different creatures. I best say we are separate species born with largely similar anatomical structures.
And when Specimen Woman and Specimen Man wish to get along, they will have to adjust.
So for me at least, it will no longer be my way or the highway.
It's our way on the highway.
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