Thursday, February 03, 2005
high up and down there
There are highs in life. And there are lows.
It's the package deal of life, I guess. I'm sure everyone experiences them - life is a rollercoaster ride?
I can't help but feel, though, that this job in this organisation at this point in time... is, to say the least, rocky.
One moment I'm on a high - thinking of the opportunities my new position will bring me, the amazing load of stuff I'm gonna learn, the subtle hint of possibly upgrading my position. And immediately, I'm thrown off the cliff. I land in the valley of valleys, the lowest of low.
Given that I've been having an uncomfortable amount of apprehension over staying or leaving, I have decided (at an unfortunately unopportune moment, I admit) to weigh the pros and cons of this job. (Unopportune because I just wrapped up a 14-hour day at work. But see what's fuelling this debate?)
Lets see now..
Pros ala What I'll miss if I leave
1. Learning - mainly from managing a magazine, but also in terms of handling Annual Reports and other publications like commemorative books and journals
2. Career progression - now any of my colleagues reading this will gag at this term being grossly inappropriate for the hellhole we now work in. Yet I've had two hints from two members of Management that pointed in the direction of my position being upgraded after my probation period. Not that it'll count for much, especially in comparison with the real world out there, but I think it'll speak well of me getting booted upwards so quickly and inspite of my evident lack of experience.
3. People! God, I'll really miss the people. I don't suppose I'll be able to find, in any other organisation, 10 lunch kakis whom I am absolutely comfortable with and whom share the same frequency. Plus they're all brilliant workers who do their job, individually and as a team. Fabulous.
But before I get too carried away... let's think about the uglier side of this
Cons ala What I sure won't miss if I leave
1. The workload of three superhumans - It's crazy, really, to effectively have one person running the entire department (if it still qualifies as one). Especially when it's a department that is expected to serve the needs of all other departments. I mean, I look like what to you? A creative team huh? Like I can copywrite 4 different collaterals, business-write (and rewrite and rewrite and rewrite) 2 corporate letters, manage the paperwork for 2 committees and plan for the next issue of my magazine... all in one day! Of course I end up putting in 14, 16 hour days, working from home, working over the weekends and working on public holidays. Does not that sound alarm bells to anyone but me?
2. Fundamentally flawed organisation - My sentiment since Day One. Something I haven't been afraid to articulate but something I am well aware is beyond my control. The entire organisational mindset is flawed (and retarded, but I digress). The management style, the levels of clearance, the hierarchy, the wrongfully vested authority... all that affects employee morale and motivation. But I accede that it'll take more than the gripings of a newbie to turn things around. Especially when Those Above are obviously enjoying themselves. There is no appreciation to staff. No bonus, no increment, no freaking word of thanks. And yet they can sit around a boardroom wondering why turnover is so high. Gee, not exactly rocket science, you think?
3. Management - Or rather, mismanagement. Today I learnt some wise words from a not-so-wise dude, but that's beside the point. He told me that the higher one's position, the more value-add one is expected to contribute. But 6 months in this hellhole and I have learnt that one's position is directly proportional to one's ability to tai-chi (or deflect) any work, responsibility or problem. Those who reside in cubicles and fishtanks do not manage us lowly peasants - they deflect work to us. They shift blame to us. This afternoon's incident particularly disturbed me. That when the shit hits the fan, my oh-so-PR boss is more than willing to put someone else's ass on the line even if Those Above are not looking for a target board. She preempts them. How forward-looking.
All that, and I'm still undecided.
Maybe life, and working life indeed, is all about striking a balance between the ups and downs.
Accepting the downs in anticipation of the ups.
// posted by the commentator @ 4:39 pm 
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