the commentary of my life

Contrary to popular belief, the bane of my existence is not my ex-boss. Pardon my relish in saying that. EX. Boss.

*revels*

So anyway, the bane of my existence, as I have realised today, is bad customer service. But don't worry, I'm not pissed off. Rather, the ridiculousness of it is amusing me.

This morning I called a studio to make an appointment to take a resume shot. The conversation, on my mobile no less, went as follows:

***

Polite Me: Hi, I'll like to make an appointment for tomorrow evening. For a resume shot, please.

Courteous Dude 1: Sure, I'll have you down for 6.30pm. Thank you.

*Dude 1 threatens to hang up on me*

Anxious Me: Oh oh, hang on a sec. Could I get the price for the resume shot?

Dumbfounded Dude 1: Erm. Uh. Erm. Hang on please.

*muffle muffle - palm-on-receiver*

Dude 2: Hello? Yes? How can I help you?

*Thinks to self: Probably boss. Be nice, maybe got discount*

Sugary Me: Hi, yes. I was enquiring about the pricing for a resume shot. I've already made an appointment for tomorrow evening.

Hesitant Dude 2: Eh, it depends. We got two packages - the normal passport shot and the corporate package.

*awkward silence while I await more information. None is offered.*

Me: Erm. Okkkk. So what's the difference between the two?

Dude 2: Price.

Me: ... *faints*

Probing Me: Well, in terms of the photos? What's the difference?

Dude 2: Oh. The standard passport one is simpler. The corporate one more complex.

Me: ... *vomits blood*

Still-probing Me: Complex in what way?

Patient Dude 2: Oh. Corporate package involves XX number of passport size photos, YY number of 4R photos. The lighting of course more particular.

*Thinks to self: What, for the standard passport photo you don't usually use light, huh?!*

Questioning Me: I see. A 4R photo is rather large, right? So the corporate package also involves half-body shots? Not just face shots?

*Thinks to self: Why would I want a 4R-sized photo of just my face?!*

Confused Dude 2: Erm. Ah. Well, maybe slightly bigger than 4R.

Even-more-confused Me: HUH?!

*Thinks to self: What on earth is he talking about?!*

Dude 2: What?

Resigned Me: You know what, can I decide on the package tomorrow when I get to your studio?

Polite Dude 2: Sure, sure. Thank you.

*Hangs up with a huge sigh of relief*

***

Ok. Seriously, who thought that entire conversation was retarded? To think that transpired over my mobile. The radiation probably almost burnt a hole through my head.

Me being jolly ol' me laughed the silly incident off. And after work, I visited the doctor. En route home I decided to be smart and called the clinic (I mean, twice last week I attempted to go - twice the clinic was open but doctor was away).

Once again over my mobile, this silly conversation transpired:

***

Polite Me: Hi, just checking if Dr ZZZ is in tonight.

Curt Dudette: Yes. You got appointment?

Still-polite Me: Nope. Can I make one for 7.30pm tonight?

Still-curt Dudette: No.

Incredulous Me: Huh?

Condescending Dudette: He's fully booked with appointments tonight. From 7.30pm to 8.45pm. Full.

Disappointed Me: Oh, I see.

Weird Dudette: So you come at 7.30pm. Yah, ok.

Confused Me: Huh?

*Thinks to self: Woman standing beside me in train is now thinking I'm either 1) not very bright, or 2) not very eloquent.*

Attempting-clarification Me: I thought you said his schedule is full tonight?

Really-curt Dudette: Yah. But you come at 7.30pm.

*Me getting rather exasperated*

Trying-to-sound-calm Me: So you're gonna put me down as a 7.30 appointment, then?

*Dudette sounding rather exasperated as well*

Impatient Dudette: No. No point I give you appointment. Dr ZZZ full tonight!

*Me almost fainting from confusion*

Hyperventilating Me: Ok. So if I come down at 7.30pm, will I be able to see him?

Dudette: Can.

Me: ???!!!

Rude Dudette: But you must wait.

Near-fainting Me: Ok, whatever. 7.30pm. Thanks (I think).

*Hangs up with another huge sigh of relief*

***

Really. Is it just me???