the commentary of my life: i have not blogged since last wednesday

Monday, June 27, 2005

i have not blogged since last wednesday

Not because I didn't have time; I always manage to make time.

Not because I didn't have anything to say.

But because I didn't want to labour on and on about my work-related woes. Which, unfortunately, cause me the most grief and take up most of my energy.

Met up very briefly with an old uni classmate last Friday at Corduroy & Finch. Giving up on wine halfway through the session, I ordered a glass of iced lemon tea. Next thing I knew, the wine was gone and we were ready to leave. So we called for the bill and requested to cancel the order. That was promptly attended to, surprisingly, and the shy waitress apologised to one of the guys about the tardy glass of iced tea.

Me, being in one of my moods, sharply retorted as she walked off, "That was my glass of iced tea. She should have apologised to me."

Old uni classmate who had not seen me for awhile, was evidently rather taken aback at that comment. I began to explain, with a slight shrug and a soft frown, "Sorry, I'm rather edgy..."

And before I could finish, Boyfriend jumps in to say, "Yeah, she's been really edgy since she started work."

I was really surprised at that. Especially given that I was only going to say that because I work in a service-oriented environment now, I'm oh-so-slightly more finicky about service standards. But I kept mum. And started thinking about what he said. I guess it's true, you know. I have lost alittle of the quirky and insane me; in its place, is solemn and cranky me.

I guess he, more than anyone (including myself), is aware of this change. He's the one who has to live through my ranting, the (more than occasional) tantrums and periodic sulking.

I really don't want to be this way. I want to be the happy, cheerful me that I was not too long ago.

Is it really mind over matter? If I don't mind, this place won't matter?

// posted by the commentator @ 3:29 pm